Well, I can't help but feel really alone right now. Kelly has been gone all day shopping with her sister, Dennis has been sleeping... not even the cat wants to give me any attention. I just want to break down and cry. Everybody gets to look foreward to seeing their family during this time of year but I don't want to see mine. It just makes me feel too awkward after so long, it's as if they are totally new people.

I try to do what I can and I still get spit on. Kelly always gets mad at me, even over little things that don't matter. She won't even let me say that I'm sorry. I just don't know what to say half the time... but I want to stay with her. If I do though, she's never going to be happy. I can tell that I am the cause of a great deal of her suffering and misfortune. The truth is that it really is my fault, no matter if she wants to believe me or not. I can't even get her anything for Xmas as it stands... I'm worthless.

Well, anyhow... sorry everyone. I haven't really been able to focus on anything artistic lately... I don't know when I'll have anything more to put up. Thanks though, especially nenee.